Did not have a weigh-in last week due to the Thanksgiving holiday. This week included another appointment with Dr. Z (and a med student). All of my blood labs continue to be perfect – which is encouraging. They do not check cholesterol, triglycerides, etc. with these blood tests – just things like potassium, sodium, calcium, glucose, etc. Weight loss over the last 2 weeks was 6.5 pounds (including 7 pounds of fat!) I still wish my weekly loss average was more than 3 or 4 pounds but I don’t think that is realistic. Unfortunately I read a little too much on other blogs and know that other people have this kind of success (then, on the flip side, I know some people lose in the range of 1-3 pounds a week).
Been thinking a lot about how much happier I am right now compared to this time last year. Maybe because this time last year I was completely frazzled from stretching myself too thin (emotionally, not physically – haha) with volunteering and then launching into the holiday season totally unprepared. But I think the real difference is that this time last year I was really scared. I had completely let myself go. I had not been to a doctor in at least 2-3 years and the bloodwork that I was supposed to have gotten a year ago never happened. I imagined all sorts of horrible things were wrong with me even though I felt fine. I was sure I was diabetic, full of cancer, and who knows what else. I was scared to go to the doctor (especially since I didn’t even really have a doctor) and get a lecture about my weight and everything that was wrong – or worse … get devastating news.
But, obviously, this is ridiculous and I really needed to get over myself. After a bunch of internet searches and review-reading, I found a primary care doctor that fit what I was looking for (on my computer screen) and made that scary appointment. She was very nice, completely non-judgmental and offered to help with the weight if I was ready. My blood pressure was creeping up. My bloodwork was not great (high cholesterol and triglycerides) but nothing terribly alarming. I was not even pre-diabetic. I had my Pap, my mammogram, all that stuff I had put off. Everything was fine. I wasn’t going to die immediately. I did feel much better about things – for a while. Then I sort of quit getting on the scale. I got busier and busier with the kids. One day I weighed myself and I was another 10 pounds heavier. Then I remembered I had done absolutely nothing about the cholesterol and triglycerides. They clearly were not getting any better – especially at 10 pounds heavier.
Sometimes I think about how I would handle things if I got a terrible (or even not-so-terrible) health diagnosis. I wonder if anyone else does this? I have already had melanoma and do not have a great family history when it comes to cancer. I think one of the first questions I would ask though is “Did I do everything I could to prevent this?” Before, my answer would have been “NO!” and that would make the situation much worse. Now I know I am headed on the right path. I have a long way to go but taking 36 pounds off is certainly a huge step. That is a 14% loss already – enough to have a positive impact on my health. My husband says I have quit snoring. Lots of studies point to sleep apnea and other sleep/breathing disorders as being horrible for health and weight (sort of a Catch 22). My blood pressure has dropped to very acceptable and healthy levels. At 20 weeks I will get the tri-glycerides and cholesterol re-evaluated. I’m going to bet that they have come down quite a bit. If they are still high I will be OK with it because I have truly worked as hard as I can to rectify it.
So, along with the clothes getting baggy, the incredibly nice compliments from friends and acquaintances, and the hugs from my husband and kids telling me they are proud of me – probably the best reward thusfar is the worrying “weight” lifting off of my mind. It is completely liberating!