The funeral is over. I have a lot of work ahead of me but things are starting to return to “normal”. The memorial Mass we had for my dad brought some “closure” for me that I wasn’t really expecting, but I am grateful for it. We had a little reception after church and I got a chance to speak with lots of people – family friends that I have known since I was a toddler, his golf buddies that I had never met, current neighbors that now occupy the homes of the childhood family friends. My college roommate flew in Wednesday afternoon and we spent all day Thursday together shopping and getting clothing ready for me and the kids for the next day. That was a really nice. She, of course, was also there at the Mass and reception helping and meeting people. I had friends there too – most had never even met my dad but just came to offer me support and love to me. My son’s best friend came with his parents. It was a special mix of people. I was especially overwhelmed by the support of my husband’s family. My sister-in-law drove to Phoenix from San Diego and then opened up her home to host an after-reception reception where we went and had lunch and drinks after leaving the church. Paul’s cousins drove down from Flagstaff even though they have very busy schedules. Almost all of his siblings attended along with his mom, aunts, cousins, etc. I’m so lucky to have married into this amazing family. As much as it sucks to be alone as an only child without living parents, having this kind of love and support really reinforces the fact that I am far from “alone”. Later in the afternoon, my husband and kids took the urn with us up to the cemetery and added it to the niche with my mom’s urn – together again after being apart for 9 years. That was hard.
I’ve spent the weekend doing the usual running around with the kids to sports, practices, etc. but I appreciated it and was happy to spend the time with them. My oldest had her final high school basketball game but is now jumping into a musical theater production that she auditioned for at her high school and was excited to get a small role in as a freshman. It will be a good transition for her now that basketball is ending. Gymnastics for my youngest is about to get even more crazy as she has meets about every other weekend for the coming months – including some where we will travel. And basketball will be wrapping up and football starting again in a few weeks for my son. There are Girl Scout cookies to sell, Valentine’s Day boxes to make and Valentines to create for classmates. Life goes on and on and on.
This week I will also delve more into some of the nitty gritty tasks that need to be done regarding my dad’s estate and, many of which, I have no idea how to proceed with. Fortunately I have people to help guide me through the process. My parents left most things fairly seamless and documented so I shouldn’t have any big issues to deal with. But I do have a home that has been in our family over 40 years and all of its contents to go through. One of the biggest gifts my mom left me with is that she organized and labeled so many of the family heirlooms and placed the contents neatly in boxes. There are baby dresses and letters and little pieces of our family’s history along with documentation so I know the story behind it. I tried to pay attention to that kind of stuff when I was younger but I didn’t fully appreciate it until I was older. I’ll need to speak with a realtor or two and decide the best way to proceed with selling the house – I may need to take on another remodeling project, or 100, to get the home more current with styles, etc. But I live in the same city, more or less, and am in no hurry to wrap any of this up. I’ll go through things in my own time and make decisions sanely (I hope!).
So, as I move forward, I can already tell the eating habits are spiraling negatively. It is really obvious to me how I managed to pack on 100 extra pounds after my kids were born and especially after my mom died. I’ve given myself some leeway with the eating the past week or so but I’m shutting it down now. I’m returning to the things that worked for weight loss and weight maintenance. I have a weigh-in appointment on Thursday and will continue to strategize with Dr. Z. I haven’t heard from hospice yet about bereavement counseling or groups but I’m going to follow through on that – or seek input from Dr. Z or Dr. Galper at Scottsdale Weight Loss. Although I actually think I feel pretty good emotionally, I am heading to the pantry for Oreos or chips with far too much regularity … a sign to me that I’m trying to probably “heal myself” with food.
Another issue is that my running schedule sucks. There isn’t one – but I have managed to keep the mile a day “streak” alive. Having all this happen as I completed my half marathon training – followed by a legitimate rest period or break from running after the half marathon – has really wreaked havoc on getting started again. One of the podcasts I have really enjoyed listening to as I trained is Another Mother Runner and the two owners of that franchise also have a few books published. I ordered both books, Run Like a Mother and Train Like a Mother, last week. From listening to the podcasts, I knew that there were training plans for 5K’s, 10K’s, half marathons, and full marathons. Not only that, but they had two different types of a plans for each race distance – a “Finish It” plan and an “Own It” plan. The “Own It” plan was interesting to me because it helped you train in order to obtain a PR (personal record) or really run a great race, assuming you already had some experience at the race distance. Having already completed a half marathon, I am now more interested in doing some shorter races faster. Also, my legs on the Ragnar SoCal relay are all at the 10K distance or shorter. I thought maybe I’d get a break in my training now but they are still pretty intense plans – and that is good! I’m excited to have things laid out for me, even if it looks pretty tough. I’m getting started tomorrow. This is a 10 week plan and Ragnar is in less than that (gulp!) – 7 weeks, actually! But, unlike a Couch to 5K plan that ramps up to the 5K distance over time, this 10K training “Own It” plan already will hit the 6 mile distance (approximately a 10K) at the end of the first week. In fact, many of the “long runs” are well over 6 miles. On tap this week:
Monday: Easy 3 miles
Tuesday: 4 miles which will include a 10 minute warm-up then 12 1-minute strides at a Zone 4 heart rate (really fast), followed by a 10 minute recovering/cool down run. The actual distance of this, in total, will probably range between 3-5 miles.
Wednesday: Easy 3 miles
Thursday: 1-2 mile warm-up, 1 mile at “race pace”, 1-2 mile cool down.
Friday: Rest or Cross-train (I’ll probably go to Koko and do strength training and walk or run a slow “streak” mile)
Saturday: Long run – 6 miles
Sunday: Rest (again, I’ll probably just walk the dog for my “streak” mile)
To me, this looks like a pretty challenging “Week 1” but it does fit nicely into where I left off after half marathon training. I shouldn’t lose too much of my fitness if I jump back into this. I wanted to keep adding in 6+ miles distances and hitting that in week 1 means I won’t have to work my way back to that like I would with a “Finish It” training plan.
If I follow this plan until I leave for San Diego in early April, I should be in good shape. Maybe I should get up and run in the middle of the night a few times though … or not.