Enough

For better or for worse, I have really been concentrating on cutting myself some slack lately.  Today I spent a blissful day in my pajamas watching NFL football – the first Sunday of games for the new season.  Often thoughts would pop into my head telling me I should be doing X, Y, or Z but I had a strong sense of feeling like I also needed to practice a little relaxation too.  There has been far too little of that lately.  I am bombarded by Facebook posts of friends and FB acquaintances getting PR’s in races today but on this day, I am doing enough.  I am enough.  I have done enough.  Tomorrow I can run around and play sub-contractor, carpool driver, runner, weight lifter, dinner maker, etc.

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My living room looks like something out of the show, Hoarders. The entire contents of our kitchen and family room are in here…

I spent a long time in a very regimented eating and exercise routine and it served me very well.  But that is only sustainable for so long – 555 days for me – and now I’m practicing living a more balanced lifestyle.  In many ways, I’ve carried over quite a bit of the old routines.  I still get antsy if I go more than a day between exercising.  I take a rest “day”, not “days”.  I’m craving a routine but I am giving myself permission during this past month or so to let a lot of expectations go.  The main reason for this is that my living environment is still so completely chaotic.  But, the good news, is that the end is finally in sight.  The kitchen counter-tops are going on tomorrow morning, my sink will finally be hooked up later in the afternoon and by mid to later in the week my cabinetry will be finalized so I can put the dishes, cookware, glasses, appliances, etc. back where they belong.  Every single time I go to prepare food (or clean up after it) it takes about 5x longer than it would if I had a functional kitchen.

I have about 75% of the boxes sorted through and put back away now.  I’m also sorting through boxes from my parents’ house at the same time and I’ve made some headway there as well.  I went through our spare closet first and went through bins and bins of IMG_9755clothes I had been saving for my youngest daughter and, not surprisingly, she hates 80%

Boxes of things from my parents' house.

Boxes of things from my parents’ house.

of them so I put them in bags to donate.  There is no point in storing them any longer.  This freed up shelving space in our spare closet to start putting boxes of my parents’ things.  I’m trying to keep only things that have meaning to me or our family history.  I’m sure in time I will be able to pare the boxes down even smaller but, for now, I am keeping what I need to keep. We’ll see when I have moved everything from their house to ours if I still have the space, but at least I have cleared an area and have stacking clear storage boxes (I bought a few sets at Costco) to make it somewhat organized.

I’m happy to say that the cold I caught early last week was over as fast as it arrived.  I don’t seem to be having it spread to my chest – which I was fearful of because my daughter’s cold has her coughing quite a bit now.  And, so far, nobody else in the family caught it either.  I did feel a bit more cautious about pushing the exercise this week though.  I went to Koko on Friday morning and did my strength test.  lean muscleProbably not an ideal time to take one since I wasn’t 100% but I was happy to see the numbers stabilize or increase on a few tests.  I was also beyond thrilled to see my lean muscle mass uptick again.  Actually, on closer inspection, it is the highest it has been post-weight loss.  WooHoo!  I wonder if the iron supplements are helping that??  I also forgot to mention that on Friday morning my weight was down to 176.4 lbs, putting me very close to the upper limit of my range of 170-175 lbs.  Unfortunately, I am doing my usual weekend sabotage of that and have been not eating very well.  I’m sure I’ll spend most of the week getting back down to the 176 range again.

I did have the crappiest of crappy runs yesterday though.  I was actually looking forward to my 6 mile training run with the Runner’s Den group Saturday morning.  But the moment I stepped outside (at 5:30 am) I knew it wasn’t going to be very pleasant.  Usually it is a bit more “crisp” outside – if that is possible when it is over 85 degrees out – but it just felt bad already, that early.  Coupled with the fact that I didn’t get in any weekly training runs that were supposed to be done, I started to get a little worried.  But, using my new “it is what it is” mentality, I headed out on the run.  I did set a goal to run at least 4 miles straight thru without stopping.  I achieved that last week and I felt pretty good – no reason why I IMG_9756couldn’t do that again.  Well, by mile 2.5 I was done.  I had also told myself that I needed to start pushing through the “pain” a bit more and challenge myself but I don’t mess around with my heart rate and I could tell it was getting up there (I didn’t wear my heart rate monitor Saturday which I need to remember to do).  So I stopped and walked.  A lot.  It was a brutal 6 miles.  The heat and humidity were just sapping all of my strength and willpower.  I was one of the last runners back to the store since the beginning half marathon and 10K training groups ran shorter distances than the intermediate and advanced half groups.  I got home and after making a protein shake, essentially collapsed on the couch and slept for 2 hours.  I did notice several others from that running group post that they also had horrible runs and I talked to another old friend and she got sick 2x on her morning run.  So I felt a bit better about my disappointing performance.  I know it will get cooler in the weeks to come and I’m already getting a decent base started.  Again, it was enough…and I’m not going to expend any more mental energy on worrying about my training.

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I hope to have some finished kitchen photos by the end of the week.  Can’t wait to get things put away so we can get back to normal around here – whatever “normal” is…

The kitchen "today"

The kitchen “today”

 

 

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This entry was posted in anemia, Exercise, Koko Fit Club, Running Streak, Uncategorized, weight maintenance. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Enough

  1. Christy says:

    Looks like it will be beautiful when it’s done, and you’ll be wicked organized too! Nice balancing act, chica!

    Like

  2. Kathy says:

    Good for you for taking a breather! You do so much and it’s okay to take care of your needs.

    Like

  3. Lynn says:

    Glad to see you are taking care of yourself ….. You have been doing a lot …… Just living in the chaos of the remodel would be trying …..listen to your body ……Saturday was miserable …. I walked/ran in the morning and had a day long meeting … I was exhausted….. Humidity just makes me tired .. Liking your kilty group for Ragnar

    Like

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