The End and the Beginning

Just wanted to post an update on what has been going on lately.  In some ways, there isn’t much to share and, in others, my life is changing so much I can’t even wrap my brain around it.

I guess the “main event” is that today is the day escrow closes on my parents’ house – my childhood home of 44+ years.  It hasn’t actually happened yet but it is just a matter of final filing of paperwork at this point I believe since all parties have signed the documents.  I completed the final items on the 21 item list of repairs requested by the IMG_2083buyer earlier this week.  My final hurdle was to learn a bit of masonry skills as I attempted to seal up a planter box in the front of the house.  Obviously I could have called someone to do this but I cannot even begin to explain how sick I am of trying to schedule contractors, meeting them for quotes and then following up on their work and payment.  In the IMG_2168spirit of my German ancestry … and my dad … I decided to tackle this last item myself.  So on Saturday and Sunday, I fixed a planter – cutting bricks with a Dremel tool, sealing up gaps in the wall with expanding insulating foam, and mixing concrete.  It sucked, but it was also kinda nice to get my hands dirty and work on the house for the last time.

On Tuesday I loaded my car up with the final items from the garage.  I mopped the floors inside and took down the few “staging” items I had left in the bathroom and rugs in the house.  I then took out my phone and took about 50 pictures all over the house.  I took pictures of little details that I wanted to remember – the side of the house where I played, the planters, the back gate, the diving board and the pool.  I took pictures of the white wood shutters in the office which was my nursery – I remember details of the handles and the hardware on them.  IMG_2170I took pictures of the yellow seeded/pebble glass of the front door and the window pane.  And I sobbed.  Hard.  Several times it just took my breath away.  It was cathartic and awful.  I have been dreading that day for a long time – the last goodbye.  I posted a small collage on Facebook that night and was really touched by the posts and messages from friends – particularly friends that I grew up with and could totally relate to my pain of leaving those memories and that neighborhood behind.  A few friends understood it.  I don’t think you can until you go through it.  And I know that I am lucky in that I had a family home with great memories, in a great neighborhood that my parents lived in until the end.

I’ve also been keeping up with my training for the half marathon in Indy on 5/2.  I’ve all but given up on attaining my 2:25 time goal – at this point I’m going to be happy to get a PR for 2015 (which would be less than 2:39:59).  Even reaching my first half marathon time of 2:30 seems unlikely.  But, I’ve learned a few things about pushing myself through the pain so, who knows.  I think the travel for the race, the humidity, hills, etc. could be another factor (possibly detriment) so I’m just going to enjoy myself.  Most of my Solemate team is starting out in corrals ahead of mine and they are much faster – I’ll be the last one of us coming across the finish line for sure.  I’m just happy that I’ve kept with my training plan, for the most part, and added some new things like running intervals and tempo runs.  The fact that I can’t seem to get much faster or increase my endurance is just part of my biology/physiology I guess.  Although, there was a day when running one 12:00 mile was cause for celebration so running 13.1 sub-12:00 is nothing to be ashamed of.  I just wish I progressed a bit faster.

IMG_2171I added a new pair of shoes to my rotation too.  I like the Altras, can’t say that I love them yet, but they feel OK.  I did go ahead and order a pair of Asics Nimbus 17’s to use as my other pair.  I was unable to try them on but reviews online were good.  I really liked them before I switched to Brooks when they felt a bit better than the Nimbus 15’s (I had been wearing the Nimbus 14’s prior to that).  Anyway, I’ve only had one run in them (on a treadmill) but I definitely felt a spring in my step…so that is encouraging.  I have a 5 mile race pace run tomorrow that I’ll probably wear the Altras for and then an 11 mile long run on Sunday where I’ll switch back to the Asics.  We’ll see…  It’s funny how much thought I’ve had to put into the shoe thing – having to replace my Brooks this close to the race was not a good plan…and switching shoes and brands at this point isn’t smart either – but I didn’t really want to get another pair of Brooks.

IMG_2079

Nathan (left) with his buddy through 10 years of many of those sports seasons, Ryan.

In other news, my son had his very last non-high school sports practice this week and will play his final game tomorrow.  10+ years of rec soccer, Little League baseball, rec basketball, club basketball, and then tackle football…all coming to an end.  It is bittersweet because I know those practices and games have been a big part of our little circle.  He could very well be standing on the sideline with very little playing time from here on out.  But I’m proud of him.  He always worked hard and never quit.  He was never a star, but he always stuck with it.

1417711_1049122315117068_3378410552133200259_oAnd, lastly, another big event this weekend – the Arizona state Trampoline & Tumbling championships are also tomorrow afternoon.  I’m hoping Erin just has clean routines and gets scores that will qualify her for Nationals so that I can move forward with planning our summer vacation plans.  Her place on the podium doesn’t matter.  If she doesn’t qualify – or qualify in all events, we’ll have a big question mark hanging over our plans until mid-May when she gets a 2nd chance at Regionals.  She has also worked very hard so I know whatever happens, happens.

So, after this weekend, I have a somewhat “clean slate”.  I don’t have to look at my list of things to do down at my parents’ house.  I don’t have to plan my week around when I’m going to make the 30 minute drive or what contractor or Realtor I need to talk to – what pigeon shit I have to clean or fear for my safety with an unsolved homicide investigation still going on down the street.  I’ll still get to go down to my ‘hood as often as I want for a reason because my mother-in-law is in the area.  I have a whole new list of things to work on in my life – a new direction that I can define how I want, in many ways.  My kids are growing older and more independent, but I’m also realizing these are some critical years for helping them shape their paths with academics and activities which does actually play a role in their college choices and future.

It’s a good time to get re-focused on fitness goals and my diet too.  I haven’t quite decided how I’m going to shake up my workout routine, but it is time for that too, I feel.  I’ll need to re-evaluate my weight plan and work on that.  I see Dr. Z next week and I’ll probably be up 2-3 pounds which, I’m OK with, considering the circumstances of fueling for long miles and the emotional stress with the home sale.  That’s not a bad gain for 6+ weeks.

 

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4 Responses to The End and the Beginning

  1. Thomas says:

    My parents are starting the process of selling my childhood home (bought it a few months before I was born) and the emotional attachment to a home is no joke! They are also making more sort through old stuffed animals, toys, etc. NOT FUN. So many memories but I just gotta let most of them go.

    As for Nathan, hopefully there are still some rec sports for him in high school. Probably not football, but my city had a rec basketball league for high school kids and a rec co-ed soccer team. I was never good enough for the high school teams (and I just wanted to play for fun) so those were perfect. It is too bad they stop so many rec sports after the 8th grade.

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    • Just realized I never replied to this.
      Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier to have to go through the process of cleaning out the house long ago – or while my parents were still living. I think it would have been harder, actually, so I feel for you. I still have a box of my stuffed animals in my garage – even my own kids are too old for stuffed animals but it is hard to let them go 🙂
      Fortunately Nathan is really into the weight training and conditioning that goes along with playing football so, if nothing else, he should get in pretty good shape whether or not he sees much playing time. So many kids come into freshman football having never played so he might have a chance if for no other reason than he knows how to play and not get killed. If he starts growing like his sister, his odds will increase too. There are rec basketball leagues through the city and YMCA and I do think that would be fun for him too. If he continues to play football, that is a year-round sport. They pretty much start again the day the season is over with off-season conditioning, etc. Ugh.
      Anyway, can’t wait to see you next week in Indy!

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  2. sian says:

    I went through same thing in December when I helped my Mum move out of th family home. Luckily she’s super happy in her new place, but the shock of seeing the old house empty was a real bolt. brought back how much I missed my Dad. Thanks so much for your writing. I’ve also been on a big life changing review in th east 12 months and your blog has been super helpful. I’m down 77 pounds and really wondering about running after reading all your posts. Who knows, I may get hooked!

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    • Thanks for your comment. Glad to hear the blog has been helpful! Congrats on your 77 pounds weight loss. I never thought I would enjoy running … or ever get past that first 1/2 mile … but it has been a life changing experience and it has certainly made weight maintenance easier. Please keep me updated if you can!

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