Gotta be honest. I’m scared.
I’ve been home from Indy for just over a week now. I gave myself some rest days last week since I had run a half marathon. Fair enough. But today I woke up with every intention of going to the gym to exercise and I didn’t. In fact, I didn’t get out of my pajamas until 3:00 pm, spending the entire day downstairs taking care of paperwork and odd jobs around the house (which are still not done).
The thing that scares me the most is that I have no idea what the next big thing will be. Heck, it doesn’t even need to be a BIG thing…. just a thing. I need to be working towards something. I need some direction in my exercise plan/schedule/life. I just trained for 12 straight weeks, using an intermediate half marathon training plan, and had less than stellar race results. But at least I knew what I was working towards for those 12 weeks. And, before that, I had a half marathon on the calendar just about every month. The temperature is heating up rapidly and the thought of running outside all summer (or waking up to run in the dark somewhat cooler temperatures) is totally unappealing – particularly since there are no races to be run anywhere near Phoenix in the summer. Actually, now that I’ve typed all of that, I did just find a 5K at the end of May in Scottsdale that might be fun. Hmmmmm….and, as an added bonus, it is called the Fro-Yo 5K and I would get frozen yogurt at the end.
Anyway, I’m not sure if I mentioned it, but I have given some serious thought into changing gym memberships. I adored Koko Fit Club and credit their format to helping me change my exercise habits and look pretty decent with the end result of my weight loss. It was the only gym that I went to with so much consistency for 3+ years. Early in April, we were notified by the owner (who is also a friend) that they would be closing the gyms (they had two locations). This was a big bummer but I also knew, deep down, that it was probably time to make a change since I was getting pretty stagnant with my workouts. So I started looking around at my options. Before I had really committed to anything, we got word that there was actually a buyer for the Koko near me, and that the club would remain open. So this was good news. But I had already started the wheels turning in my brain to look elsewhere. So early last week I went to the newest big box gym that had opened in our area, Mountainside Fitness. I wanted to love it, but I didn’t really. But, the price was right and it had some nice features, so I went ahead and joined on a month-to-month basis so that I could give it a try. Tomorrow morning I am meeting with a trainer, which is included as part of the introduction, to get information on what I am sure will be over-priced personal training packages. I am dreading the sales pitch – but I do want my “free” orientation of their weight machines since it has been a while since I’ve been on my own with those (ah, I miss Koko already).
I also went to a group fitness class last week at the new gym. Let’s just say that attending one of those classes is WAY out of my comfort zone. It was totally intimidating and I felt like throwing up. It was really crowded too and I had no idea what I was doing. The instructor was nice but really intense and I felt like such a loser. 3 years of weight training and I could barely keep up. So depressing. I had just run a half marathon less than a week before but I felt like I had never worked out. Sad. I kept up until the end, the arm exercises were a bit easier than the leg ones. I did not anticipate how incredibly sore I was going to be for next 3-4 days. This is why I hate classes like that. I’m all for a great workout, but I don’t like being taken to my breaking point and then being reminded of that feeling for the following days every time I sit down. I think this played into the reason I never left the house today – because my original plan was to go to another class. I was scared. And I don’t want to be scared of exercise every time I’m about to go. I know it will get easier, but I have found other activities that don’t make me scared – like running. But, I need to, clearly, get stronger. I want to fulfill my goal of building more lean muscle. So, I’ll keep working different angles and see where I can fit in best. Who knows, maybe the guy that I’m meeting with tomorrow will get me excited about something….
Anyway, I’m feeling really kinda lost tonight. I’ve got a pile of paperwork that I’m trying to finish up and and I can’t seem to finalize anything … and that leads me to want to eat. Tomorrow I will go to the new gym and at least do something. I think maybe I will register for this 5K and, perhaps, even try for a PR – I have about 3 weeks and can really put in some concentrated speed work to help me shift gears from half marathon training to a shorter distance. Thanks for letting me vent….sometimes just typing it all out helps me sort through it all.
Oh, one last little note….after several phone calls to AMEX and standing in line at the customer service desk at Costco at least two times and having my photo taken, I was finally issued my new AMEX card with my updated photo this week. I use this card a lot, and when people would look at my old photo, I sometimes got a weird look or I felt the need to explain the photo…I’m so glad I don’t have to cringe every time I get that card out. I’m not sure why it was so difficult to get the picture changed, I had an easier time of getting my driver’s license photo re-done I think. Anyway, this was almost one of the last residual things that I use with any regularity of my “former” life. And I’m glad to, again, be moving on.