Big Changes Ahead

I have neglected my blog again.  There has been lots going on but I didn’t share some of it because it was up in the air.

I’m going back to work – after 11 years of being a stay-at-home mom.

There are so many emotions associated with this.  I’ve been really fortunate that there hasn’t been a need for me to go back to work, and there still isn’t.  Of course, the extra income will be nice, but it definitely wasn’t a deciding factor in this case.  Until I get going in the job, I’m going to remain a little bit vague about what I’m up to – but I will say that I’m going to be teaching … high school.  Interesting, Martha…I didn’t know you had a teaching certificate.  I don’t.  Well, not yet anyway.  It’s in the works, as of a month ago.

Since wrapping up my parents’ estate, I have definitely considered looking for work.  I have spent some time on job boards looking for positions.  I have been trying to figure out which direction to take – should I go back to school?  buy a bunch of books and self-study something?  etc. etc.  To be honest, it was terrifying.  I have found a few things that looked promising, but I would talk myself out of applying.  When I thought through how it would impact my family, the timing didn’t seem right.  And 11 years is a long time to not work, even though it seems like it has only been 3 or 4 years since I left my last employer.  I know my technical skills are rusty.  As much as I loved my last job and work, one of the deciding factors in leaving (and not seriously considering returning) was the distance from home – a good 45 minutes, if I was lucky.  The uncertainty of what to do with myself has been gnawing at me.  I’ve watched many of my ‘mom’ friends return to the work force with the same questions and hesitations.  I was starting to feel like the last ‘housewife’ at home.

The disruption to our family balance has worried me too.  I have been the one that has been able to travel for gymnastics or go on a college visit … or a field trip … or a doctor’s visit.  The flexibility is still needed and desired.  I had thought a part-time position was the only solution – but teaching in a school district so that my days off are identical to my kids is even better, even though it is a full-time position during the school year.  Some days of the week I can get home before the other kids.  This is still important to me.

The time at home has gone by very fast.  I still feel like I don’t have enough hours in the day.  But I can tell, during the past year, that things are easing up slightly.  Having Sarah driving now and basically managing her life like the young adult she is has really changed the dynamics around here.  We now have 3 drivers – and a 4th one in the works as Nathan passed his permit test earlier this week.  This makes a big difference since instead of driving 3 kids around, I only have 2 to worry about.  And now we have almost 3 drivers to drive those 2 kids.  The kids are going to have to do more around the house.  We are all going to have to work together.

My weight maintenance and exercise options were a huge factor to consider as well.  They, honestly, were a big part of my concerns and thoughts – which I guess says a lot about how important it remains to me.  This is not worth it if I let my health back-slide.  I have to have a plan immediately.  One thing I’ll have to give up is my morning training session with the trainers I have really grown to like.  But, there is a solution – they have evening sessions as well.  I hope I have the energy to go.  Going early in the morning won’t be an option, unfortunately, because the classes end right when I would need to be at school.  I will make this work.  I have the gymnastics schedule for the fall already and I will be driving by my gym on the way to and from practice 4 days a week (and she is there for 3.5 hours at a time so that leaves plenty of time to get my workout done).  I may not be half marathon training any time soon, but I will keep up my fitness level.   I will plan my meals so I don’t eat junk during the day and I will get the family involved in meal planning and prep.  My older daughter can use her car to get groceries.  The Optifast meal replacements will actually be a really good solution for at-school meals too.  There are advantages to not being home and around my pantry all day.    There are lots of solutions…

As I’ve said many times before on this blog, if this weight loss journey has done nothing else, it has changed how I feel about taking some chances in life and really getting out of my comfort zone.  From the moment this opportunity presented itself, I couldn’t help feeling both scared but also pretty amazed that it felt so right.  I would say that 90% of my ‘cup’ is full – I have a very good life.  I will admit, however, that although a career doesn’t define me, I am the type of person that misses the technical challenge, the boost of being recognized outside the home (I’m not recognized much in the home), and the interaction with others.   When I mention to people what I was considering, they all could see that too –  this is a good fit for me at this time in my life.  I have a good mix of excitement, confidence, fear, and worry all rolled up together.  There are lots of people that believe I can do this, so I’m gonna run with that.  This is something that I can’t not try.  I’ll fill in some details later.  It’s a good thing.